


A Saucy Flash of Ankle

by Safraninflare



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Kink Meme, Other, Sex Bandit Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:34:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24380629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Safraninflare/pseuds/Safraninflare
Summary: From the Kink meme: Flayn is captured by a group of bandits, and frankly, she's kinda excited. Finally she can fulfill her fantasy of being ravished by sex bandits!Unfortunately, these are just regular bandits that are planning to hold her for ransom. But that's not stopping Flayn from trying to make her dreams come true, much to the bandits' confusion and mild discomfort.In other words, Flayn wants to be fucked by the bandits holding her hostage and said bandits don't know how to handle the situation.
Comments: 13
Kudos: 39





	A Saucy Flash of Ankle

Flayn had dreamed of this moment for years, since she had first heard the name uttered. 

_ Sex bandits. _

Her father had long locked away her favorite bits of smut and salacious texts, tossed somewhere deep in Abyss with the smiley-faced sex golem, but the others in the army had come back red-faced and pantsless telling tales about the formidable foes called  _ The Sex Bandits. _ If she couldn’t get her rocks off with her books anymore, well, surely her father couldn’t get upset with her if she was caught by  _ Sex Bandits. _

So, she had taken a stroll around the monastery late at night, every so often flashing a little bit of shoulder to entice those sneaky sex bandits to her location. It was nearly three in the morning when she heard their siren song, and she ended up in the bandits’ clutches.

“Those are nice hair clips you’ve got there, girly,” a flaxen-haired bandit who looked like he came straight from one of the covers of her romance novels asked. “What are they, solid gold?”

“Oh, yes. Would you like to… run your fingers through my hair?” Flayn batted her eyelashes a few times, but the Fabio-esque bandit just stared. 

“I mean, I’d rather you just give me the fucking hair clips?” He frowned.

Another one of the bandits stepped forward, his chiseled jaw catching in the moonlight. “I’ll get ‘em, boss!” 

He reached for Flayn’s hair, and she let out a girlish moan as his fingers brushed delicately against her cheek, slipping until they reached the bauble that he sought. 

“Uh, miss, are you okay?” The strong-jawed bandit asked. “You sure are blinking a lot.”

“I don’t quite understand.” Flayn frowned. “Now that you have my hair clips, would you not like to ravish me?” 

“Ravish? Like the vegetable?”

“I think that’s a radish, Erik,” one of the very sexy bandits said. “I think she thinks we’re going to severely damage her?” 

“Nah, that’s  _ ravage.”  _ The leader sighed. 

He crossed his arms over his chest, and in response, Flayn pulled her skirt a little higher up on her leg, showing a scandalous sliver of her knee. “I do not understand. You all are very interested in my treasures, but the real treasure is—” 

A bandit cut her off before she could finish unbuttoning the blouse portion of her dress, his hand held up in the  _ stop _ position. “I think this is a case of mistaken identity, boss. See, girly, I think you’re looking for the sex bandits.”

“Yes.” Flayn frowned, her skirt now halfway up her stomach to expose her bloomers. “And you are the sex bandits!”

“Aw, fuck,” the blonde sighed. “No, you’ve got the wrong bandits. We’re the  _ jewelry  _ bandits. We just want your gold.”

“So, you are not going to have your way with me while I pretend to protest, even though I secretly have desired the touch of a real man all along?” Flayn asked. 

“No…”

Well, now Flayn just felt foolish.

“Do you know where I could find the sex bandits?” she asked in turn. 

“Uhh, I think they’ve retired, last I heard?” the one she remembered as  _ Erik _ offered.

“Yeah, some purple haired guy taught them about holding hands, and now they’re running couple’s counseling out of that cave by the mountains,” the redhead explained.

“Well, that simply will not do.” Flayn’s entire plan had disappeared in a puff of smoke  _ and _ these bandits were stealing her jewelry. It was just  _ rude. _

“I mean, I guess we could hold you hostage for a bit?” the leader offered.

This delighted Flayn. “Oh, yes! A hostage situation! You may bind my wrists, now!” 

The men were… quite confused to say the least as they bound Flayn. She kept trying to show a bit of skin, or moan softly, which just made them rather uncomfortable. All they wanted was her gold, and somehow they ended up with a weirdly horny hostage. 

Several hours had passed, and yet somehow, no one had come to pay Flayn’s ransom. She figured that her father must have been busy, possibly dealing with the sex golem, but even after sitting with these bandits, they hadn’t even so much as tried to undress her with their eyes.

“Got any threes?” Jean-Claude asked.

Lance sighed. “Go fish.”

“I am terribly sorry to interrupt your game, but are you absolutely certain that you do not wish to have very sordid intercourse with me?” Flayn asked once more.

Angus rolled his eyes, and tossed a pair of twos onto the table. “You look like you’re twelve. I don’t need to end up on To Catch a Predator. The TV hasn’t even been invented yet!” 

“What if I told you that I was actually much older than I looked?” Flayn waggled her eyebrows.

“Nope. Got any fours?” 

Well, that was the end of that. “I think that I will escort myself out.”

Flayn arrived back at the monastery around an hour later, her bindings long discarded, mainly because the bandits hadn’t tied them tightly at all. She made her way up to the infirmary, just to make sure that Manuela wasn’t passed out drunk on the floor again, only to find Mercedes nursing Felix back to health again.

“What was it this time?” Flayn asked, the displeasure heavy in her voice. 

Mercedes looked at Felix, then back to Flayn, a similar bit of bored fatigue in her eyes. “It was the sex bandits. Again.” 

“Motherfu—”

**Author's Note:**

> I will not apologize for art


End file.
